WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
