My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
