after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
