Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
