U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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