I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
