My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
