Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
