just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We left an ass print on the piano.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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