I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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