Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
