At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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