i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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