Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
