butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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