I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
