I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize