Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
