New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
