And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
