your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
