You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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