I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
