Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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