a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
