you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to calm my uterus...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
