The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
