There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
