I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I faked an abortion last night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What a dumb baby whore.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
