sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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