She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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