3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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