Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.