your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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