even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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