He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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