Buhtt sex?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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