omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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