woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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