Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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