I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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