the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
