ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
