Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize