So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
