I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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