You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
