Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize