I'm really into asian looking animals
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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