i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
