Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
