Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
