I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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