pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
