What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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