Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
