It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize