the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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