and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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