AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
