He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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