I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
